Long Distance Relationships Today

My Dear Lover,

Soon or later, you and your beloved will have to take the decision of who should move, because it is very hard to live apart.

Moving will change your life drastically, you should what you and beloved really wants from life, you need to communicate, communicate and communicate until you arrive to a very clear understanding about your expectations, It is your future.

Here are some questions to help you make the decision.

* Will you have to “give up” of your domestic animals? Does your beloved love having cats, dogs, birds, etc. at home?
* Any of you already have children? How well will they accept living together, now as a new family? There are good schools for them in the new place? They like the new place? How about their friends, they accept being apart from them? Can they keep their current activities, like sport, etc. in the new place?
* Are you moving far away from your family? If you are a kind of person that is very close to your family, it will be very hard not. to be with them so often. Maybe your parents are “old” and need your assistance. You have the right to build your life, your happiness, your love, but I think it isn’t fair to leave your parents alone most of the time, when they most need your help. And if you already have children, can they live far away from their actual family? They are willing to have a new family?
* If you are divorced and your ex lives near to you, will he accept your new mate? After all he comes from “nowhere”, and almost from one day to another, he is already living with you.Of course you can’t let your ex be the main reason for you to live your life, where you want, and with who you want, but if your ex is a kind of person that don’t accept that you have a new mate, you need to be prepared to deal with that.
* Can you live in the new area, possibly, for the rest of your life? Do you like the weather? The culture? If you are an urban lover and will move to a rural area, can you live with that, or will you miss the urban live too much?If you are a kind of person that can adapt very easy to new environments, this is no problem at all, but if you are not, and decide to move, you will need all the help, understanding and support from your beloved, for the more “difficult” phases, be aware that he knows that. Do you really know the new area, or you have been there before, only for a couple of weeks in romantic holidays? Try to know better the new area, if you can spend more time there and not. only when both of you are in holidays, before you move forever.
* God forgive me, but if things don’t go well between you, and you decide to you should end your relation, after you move, will you come back to your old home, or will you live in the new area? Can you live there, without the support of your family and old friends? It will be a very difficult time for you.

Well, with all these questions, it might seem to you, that this is a very difficult decision to make.It is a big decision that will change your life forever, you need to be very clear about your expectations.

But my most important advice to you is to listen to your heart.

True love is so precious and can overcome any difficult.

Don’t measure the distance, measure the Love, Maria Madeira.

http://www.distancelovinghelp.com

P.S.: Being in a long distance relationship since 2003, Maria Madeira share her advices, her experiences, her help, teaching how to survive a long distance love.

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Surviving a long distance relationship can be a tricky thing considering the reputation they have earned. If you’re currently in a long distance relationship, you may have experienced your friends consoling you or offer kind words when you let them know your romantic situation. The reason for this is that the idea of having a romance survive much less flourish while lovers are apart seems highly impractical and even unnatural.

Give it a Shot

For many couples, the alternative to having a long distance relationship is breaking up all together. Michael James, V.P. of development for MatchTrust states, “The alternative option of breaking up is always available later. Why not at least give the long distance a shot?” I couldn’t agree more.

Tip #1 - Find Yourself Again

If you’ve been in your relationship for a while, you may notice that your individual identity has been replaced by your couple identity. At MatchTrust, they’ve found that it’s quite common for couples to give up some of the things they enjoyed when they were single in order to spend more time in their relationship. Being in one will allow you to get back in touch with old hobbies or discover new ones on your own. The added benefit is that you’ll be able to share those new experiences with your better half when you reconnect.

Tip #2 - Get New Topics of Conversation

Ever notice how sometimes you feel like you have nothing new to talk about with your partner? They will change that for you. Couples who are doing the long distance thing spend many hours on the phone for a reason. They now have plenty to talk about! When your partner isn’t right there for the day to day anymore there is much more to share.

Tip #3 - Miss Each Other

There’s a reason why people say, “Distance makes the heart grow fonder.” Being apart from the person you love allows you to miss them. It’s nearly impossible to evoke those feelings without the reality of being apart from your relationship. You’ll be able to experience the joy of remembering your partner and the great times you’ve shared together.

Tip #4 - Get Creative

Couples usually fall into routines. When you’re in one, your couple routine ceases to exist and now you have to come up with creative ways to keep your relationship thriving. Try opening up your creative side by writing somecute notes or emails to some naughty phone call conversations.

Tip #5 - Date Your Partner

Remember when you first started to date your partner you couldn’t wait until the next time you saw them? You’d spend time planning what to do or what to wear. When you reunite with your long distance love, you’ll be able to experience the rush of dating your partner all over again. At http://www.MatchTrust.com they have found that when long distance couples reunite they experience a delightful mixture of familiarity and excitement all in one.

Turn Your Frown Upside Down

Like most things in life, the attitude that you adopt about your situation can make all the difference. This really holds true for long distance relationships. If you find yourself having to be apart from your better half for a while, don’t fret. Just follow the above tips and you’re sure to make it through this time apart. You may even find that your relationship becomes stronger than ever after you are together again!

Maria Anderson is America’s hottest dating coach. For years she has been showing singles how to meet and be successful at the dating game. For more proven dating advice check out:
http://www.OnlineDateDr.com

Question From A reader:

I’ve been seeing this girl for about two months or so in a long distance relationship. It’s gone absolutely fantastic, so I have started seeing her exclusively every weekend.

She works nights six days per week, with Thursday being her only day off. Every single Thursday, the exact same thing happens; she disappears.

It goes like this: I usually call her or she calls me when I am done working at around 6 PM, but on Thursdays when I call her, the phone will not go to voicemail, instead she will answer and then hang up (that is what it seems like). And when I try to call back the phone is turned off and I won’t hear from her until the next day.

This happens every Thursday.

The first couple of times I shrugged it off because we were just dating.

Am I off base here for being suspicious or is it painfully obvious that I am being played like a fiddle?

Answer:

One of the biggest challenges with a long distance relationship is the unknown factor.

If you know she isn’t at work and her phone is off there is that potential of her seeing someone else.

The amount of trust required for a long distance relationship to work is greater than most people can handle.

Is she playing you like a fiddle?

Maybe, maybe not; yet the truth is the only thing you can control is your weekends with her.

If you really are into this woman and want to make it work as a long distance relationship, perhaps you should consider letting her call you on Thursdays if she wants and avoid the no response from her period.

She has consistently not answered the phone on Thursdays which means she is busy or doesn’t want to talk to you on Thursdays for a reason she chooses to keep private.

Asking her to reveal what it is before she is ready will either ruin the relationship because she will not reveal it to you or she will simply lie about it if it is truly something wrong on her part.

Either that or break up with her so you don’t have to worry about being played like a fiddle as the only real way to stop that kind of fiddle from playing.

Teddy Shabba is a Dating Coach for Men who has a daily newsletter that provides you with a wealth of information on how to be more successful with women. You can sign up for the Teddy Shabba Dating Advice Newsletter for Men now.

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Throughout our experience working with long distance couples, we frequently heard that long distance relationship does not have the elements of romance in it. This is not caused by the lack of love in long distance relationship but couples in such situation just do not know how to be romantic to each other. Romance in long distance relationship is necessary and it can make your relationship stronger regardless how far your lover may be.

There are million of things you can do to increase the romance in your long distance relationship. The basic rule here is to build your ability to show your distance partner that you really cherish and value the relationship throughout your LDR. Below are some of the areas you must understand and practice in order to increase the romance in your long distance relationship.

Sweet Talk

Communication is the most important thing in a long distance relationship and you must be able to talk sweetly over the telephone or any cheap channel that you can grab hold. Tell your partner that how you have missed and love them on their absence. Remember to tell your distance partner that you still treasure and care for them even when they are not physically around. Let them know that although you cannot be with them but you constantly think, enchanted and fascinated by them. Sweet talk can never be too much and you can do it as often as you like whenever you got the change to speak or communicate with your distance lover.

Listening with Care

Listening is the next most important thing in long distance relationship. It is important to be able to listen and understand completely the things that your partner is telling you whether it is about their day, wants or dreams. You are their only trusted person that they can look for to share and let their anger off without having to worry and therefore you must be able to listen with care when your partner needs you to lend them your ear. Sharing with your partner will always allow you to build and enhance the romantic moment in your relationship.

Love Note

Nothing is better that a written note with “I love you” message on it. Include this note whenever you send a letter to your distance partner or every time you send something to them. When you had the chance to meet your long distance partner, slip this note into their wallet, handbag, briefcase and etc without their knowledge. The note can be anything from simple “I miss you” to full blown love letter letting you distance partner know how much you have miss him or her.

Virtual Kiss

It may seem that kissing your partner is almost impossible in long distance relationship but you can always give a virtual kiss to your partner. You can always make a lipstick mark on a handkerchief with your mouth or write a “Kiss in Advance” note on a paper and send it to your partner. Tell your partner that you wanted to give them a kiss in advance and ask them to keep the handkerchief or note to remind you of the kiss when he or she sees you the next time.

Having Fun

Having fun is an important and serious matter in long distance relationship. Take the time to have fun with your distance lover. Both of your can always spend your time playing online computer game, surfing the internet, watching a movie at the same time or as well as spending the whole evening telling jokes to each other on the phone. Remember the good times that you both had while together and share them while chatting on the phone. You can also tease and make joke on your partner just to lighten up your conversation from time to time. Anyway you must know the limit as over teasing can cause hurt on your partner. The idea is to have fun while both of you had the opportunity to talk to each other on the phone.

Courtesy and Respect

Courtesy and respect are very important in long distance relationship. You partner may not be physically around but they are still part of your life and a little courtesy or respect can definitely pull both of your closer to each other. Remember to seek for your partner’s opinion in making a decision concerning the relationship and this will indirectly show them that you still care for them. Being romantic is to care, respect and understand your partner regardless where they may be.

Giving Compliments

Complimenting your partner is another way to show that you appreciate them in a long distance relationship. Think of something to complement your distance partner every day or every week. It does not have to be anything big or major. Something like “You look beautiful today” or “Your voice is sweet” will make your partner feel nice about them self even they are far away. On the other hand, you must remember to give only a sincere and honest compliment to your long distance partner. Your partner will certainly feel romantic knowing that you still admire and appreciate them despite the distance.

Above are the areas of romance to get you started and you can always create your own romantic moment by using the above examples. Be passionate about your LDR and romance will automatically show up at your doorstep. Lastly but not least I, on behalf of Perfect-Relationship.com would like to wish you all the best to your long distance relationship.

Alex Chew is an avid believer of Long Distance Relationship. He has been actively involved in helping distance couples on their journey through his research works and books. He is also the webmaster of http://www.perfect-relationship.com and the author of Manage Your Way to A Perfect Distance Relationship Guide

and several other e-books.

Copyright © 2005 Alex Chew & Perfect-Relationship.com

One of the great obstacles to maintaining a healthy relationship these days occurs when jobs or other situations put physical distance between the two partners. This ultimately leads to what is called a long distance relationship that neither party may have been prepared for in the beginning. Long distance relationships require special skills to keep the connection strong and the communication flowing between the couple. The good news is that overcoming physical distances is a lot easier to accomplish than overcoming emotional distances between people. That is, if the two parties handle the situation correctly.

Even the most connected, loving couples need some extra skills to overcome the possible damage to the relationship imposed by long distance separation. To begin with, sex between them is gone as they have known it in the past. Without sex, and without the other partner looking over their shoulder, long distance relationships often meet a quick end as either or both parties find new sexual partners.

The key here is to practice abstinence. Perhaps a bit of risqué conversation over the phone, late at night, might keep the partners from looking elsewhere to satisfy their sexual urges. It may seem a bit odd at first, having these sexual encounters over the phone with your mate, but it will help you make it over the rough patches of being separated.

The next biggest hurdle to overcome when physically separated is communication. Obviously, with today’s technology, staying in touch is a lot easier than it was years ago. Cell phones, palm pilots and the internet make reaching out to touch somebody easy and simple. The key here is what is being discussed between the two separated partners. Complaining, whining about life, and otherwise badgering the absent partner will only make that distance seem even farther. Take the time to speak tenderly to each other, make the best use of your distance by reminding each other how much you love each other and the distance between you will simply disappear. These two easy tricks and a little common sense about your long distance relationship will help the relationship survive the separation.

Relationships Info provides detailed information about online relationships, long distance relationships, relationship advice, relationship problems, relationship quizzes, interracial relationships, and more. Relationships Info is the sister site of Troubled Teens Web.

Long distance relationships can be quite a challenge. The most important advice that I have to offer is that if you’re going to attempt a long distance relationship, be completely honest with each other about your expectations, make sure that you live your own life when your apart, and check your jealousy at the door.

First, it’s very important to keep your own friends and social circle and that you don’t sit by the phone waiting for him to call. That’s the quickest way to go mad. Trust me; I dated a guy in the military who was stationed in Iraq . I lived by the phone for several months and was completely miserable the entire time.

The second thing that can kill a log distance relationship is jealousy . If you’re constantly worried about what he’s doing or who he’s with, again, you’ll drive yourself mad.

Recognize that we are social beings and we all crave companionship and closeness with another human being. Is it really reasonable to ask either of you to remain exclusive, when you’re so far apart? To ask each other to be lonely and miserable when you aren’t together?

Many people will disagree with me, but I don’t feel that a long distance relationship should be exclusive. You’re only setting each other up to fail or to at least be lonely. When you’re ready to truly be exclusive with one another - move closer so that you can really be together.

Lastly, be completely honest with one another in a compassionate and empathetic way. Tell the truth about how you’re feeling, but make it about how you’re feeling, not what the other person is or is not doing. Remember, you are the only one responsible for your feelings and your actions. No one else can make you feel a certain way or behave in a certain way.

In summary:

If you want to have a successful long distance relationship,

• Keep your own friends and social circle

• Check your jealousy at the door

• Be completely honest about your expectations and feelings

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Have you ever met a woman while you where out of town spent a couple of days together had a great time, then decided that she was someone with whom you had to keep in touch with because the chemistry you two had was like no other?

So you exchange contact information and then flew back home and she went back to her home some 3000 miles away from you.

You get home and a couple of days later give her a call and discover that the chemistry you had when you where together is not nearly as strong as what you feeling on the phone.

Perhaps after a couple of weeks of talking on the phone you decide to fly up and see her and again the connection seems to just be getting stronger and stronger.

Overcome by emotions and joy you decide that you no longer want to see anybody else and ask her if she feels the same. She agrees and now you have become a long distance couple.

Congratulations! You have just completely destroyed your long distance fling and now get to enjoy the misery of a long distance relationship until the stench of the dead fling becomes too unbearable.

What you had first experienced in the fling was great and if you had left it at that you would’ve been able to enjoy perhaps years of this occasional fling. A long distance fling works for two reasons:

1. There is no commitment

2. No Expectations

If you both happen to have some free time or you are in town you meet up have a great time and afterwards go your own separate ways. The phone calls start to become less and less even though every time you call or meet you pick up right where you left off.

Now what happens when you turn a fling into the long distance relationship is:

1. It becomes a commitment

2. Expectations become great

Before you would meet her when you meet her, now you have to meet because we all know as a man you can only go so long without sex. Also before when you went out you might not have the urge to sleep with someone else and you still would have fun.

Now in the long distance relationship you have to be careful when you go out because you might get the urge and you have less fun when going out if you even do go out.

As a fling there was no power struggle as to who was going to move to be with the other, yet once in a relationship his power struggle will begin because you both know that long distance relationships cant last forever.

In a nutshell when you meet the woman of your dreams three thousand miles away simply except it for what it is a fling and if she happens to move closer or your job relocates you closer to her hen you can begin to explore relationships options.

Trying a long distance relationship with someone you just met is a waste of your time, and in the long run all that is going to happen is you missed out on all the other women who lived closer to you and potentially could have made you forget about her.

Teddy Shabba is a Dating Coach for Men and creator of Dating Advice and Tips for Men which provides an abundance of information for men on dating and more. If you would like more information on how to attract, seduce and meet women sign up for the Teddy Shabba Dating Advice Newsletter for Men today

Throughout our experience working with long distance relationship couples, we had discovered that there are lots of thing that we must do and as well as refrain from doing in order to survive the relationship. Below are some of the advices that we have compiled over the years. Although they may look simple but when it comes to the actual execution, it may take more than your effort and discipline. It is your desire to survive the relationship that makes the most impact in writing the outcome of your distance relationship. Consider some of the below do and don’t list and together with your desire, I am pretty sure you are able to conquer your distance relationship with ease and fun.

Do’s

1) Establish an effective communication channel

The very first thing that you must do in a long distance relationship is to establish an effective communication channel. Most people will think that telephone is the most convenient mode of communication but apart from the telephone services, there are some other alternative you can use. Instant messenger, emails, VOIP phone and conventional mails can be very effective if you know how to use them. Each of the communication channels has its own advantages and disadvantages and therefore you must start to explore each of them to enhance your communication experience.

2) Plan to meet each other

There is nothing more important than planning to meet each other again at an interval of time throughout the period of your long distance relationship. This will help both you and your partner to catch up with each other over the things that you cannot do while apart. The anticipation of seeing each other again will always give you the excitement, hope and as well as eliminating the lonely feeling in your LDR.

3) Build hobby that you can both share

By building and keeping a hobby, both of you will have something to discuss and work on throughout your distance relationship. Finding something to do online can be quite interesting judging from its speed and reach ability but never leave out conventional hobby as well because you do not need to have your partner’s physical present to share a hobby.

4) Surprise your partner

Occasionally surprise you partner with cards, gifts, letter and flower out of their expectation apart from your normal correspondence. Put your imagination to use and your partner will be sure to love your effort in keeping them happy. Sending the unexpected gifts to your partner will always spice up your distance relationship regardless how far your partner may be.

5) Capture and share that interesting moment

Throughout the period of your LDR, you can always capture some interesting moment of yours by exchanging photos, video clips and as well as audio recording. This will indirectly keep your partner informed on what has happen in your life despite the physical distance.

Don’ts

1) Settle for a temporary replacement

One of the mistakes that a distance relationship couple often make is to settle for a temporary replacement when their partner is not physical around. By letting a third party into your life, you will not only put your distance relationship to risk but you will also break the mutual trust and agreement that you make. Although it may not be done intentionally but this type of mistake will be very costly to your long distance relationship.

2) Take the relationship lightly

The absence of your partner does not give you the license to dictate and manipulate the relationship. You must remember that, your partner has their own right to participate in any decision making toward the well being of your relationship regardless where there are. A long distance relationship is also as important as a normal relationship and your partner has their own right to be treated fairly.

3) Wait and see attitude

Most of the failures in distance relationship that we observed are contributed by the wait and see attitude of the couples themselves. This was caused by the insecurity of the couple as they do not think that the LDR will work but at the same time they do not want to put a stop to the relationship. Let me tell you this, if you plan to have this kind of attitude, refrain from walking into one at the first place because both you and your partner will suffer in the relationship. In a LDR, both partners must be committed and proactive in bringing the relationship to a higher level.

4) Suspicion

There are no rooms for suspicion in a long distance relationship. In order for you to survive your distance relationship, you must learn to trust your partner whole heartedly. A single suspicion will break the bond you have for each other and it is a beginning of the end if you start to suspect your partner at any point of your LDR. Although it is easier said than done but trust me, if your partner is apt to do something unfaithful to you, they will still do it under your nose. Therefore there is no need for you to create such unnecessary stress in your LDR.

5) Succumb to negative comment on LDR

Couples in distance relationship always make a mistake by believing that LDR do not work. The negative impression you have in LDR will eventually hunt you down and destroy your relationship if you choose to listen to the negative comment. Therefore, once you have decided to enter into a long distance relationship, you must learn to believe that your relationship will work. I knew it because I had successfully conquered my own distance relationship due to the reason that I am not influence by any of the bad comments I received.

Alex Chew is an avid believer of Long Distance Relationship. He has been actively involved in helping distance couples on their journey through his research works and books. He is also the webmaster of http://www.perfect-relationship.com and the author of Manage Your Way to A Perfect Distance Relationship e-book.

Copyright © 2005 Alex Chew & Perfect-Relationship.com. All right Reserved.